#33 Self-determination

"It's not where you start, it's where you finish". No one can control the circumstances of where they were born, who their parents are, how they are raised, etc. Early on in life, much of who we are is formed and shaped. Many of our beliefs, attitudes, fears, biases, etc. Still, at some point, we are responsible for who we are as human beings, independent of our lineup of influences.

I grew up in Detroit, MI and would've been considered lower middle-class. Think the family in "Malcolm In the Middle", and you're not far off. My parents were hard-working folks, but weren't overly educated themselves (my Mom has since gone on to get her college degree). Many of my friends from that old neighborhood became products of their environment and ended up involved in petty crime, drugs, and all other manners of failure in life, including death. While my parents did the best they could and sent my siblings and I to private, Catholic schools, it would'nt have been much of a stretch to get dragged into the wasted lives of some of my childhood friends got mixed up in. My parents did a good job of helping me not fall into that type of lifestyle.

When I was a teenager and impressionable I was a caddy at a local country club and had an opportunity to see how the "other half" lived on a daily basis. While some were indeed snobs (as is often the stereotype), many of the guys I caddied for were kind enough to share with me some philosophies and impart lessons and wisdom that have served me well, such as the nugget this post is based on. The first time I heard it was when a golfer hit a pitiful drive that barely left the tee box somewhere near the ladies tee, and was able to recover by hitting two perfect shots following that, making a putt and, thus, save his par on the hole. No pun intended, but upon further reflection, it's apt in the regard that no matter where you start in life, once you are a full-fledged adult, it's up to you, through your actions and intentions, to determine the trajectory and the course of where your life leads you and where you ultimately end up. We can make all the excuses and rationalizations we want, but America is chock-full of Horatio Alger stories of people rising from obscurity to prominence. Sadly, it's also riddled with self-destructive cautionary tales of people born into all manners of advantage and privilege who let it all slip away for no good reason. The choice is in all of our hands whether to stand up and be counted and make a difference, or to shirk the duty and resign one to a life of medicrity, or, in extreme cases, outright failure.