Criticism

#5 Try your best to not judge others too harshly. Criticism directed at another has a tendency to be like boomerang, coming right back at you.

Think about this, we are all human beings. Every one of us is a complex, mysterious confluence of heredity, outside influence, varying backgrounds, personal prejudices, superstitions and moods. In other words: we are all complicated and full of flaws of varying degrees. Even the best of us. Because of this there is endless opportunity to come into conflicts, become annoyed with one another, and generally make value judgments based on what we think we know about someone by our exposure to them (however limited). Believe me, I’m no better. I’m constantly reminding myself to be more considerate and accepting of others. My attitude, in my best moments, is that everyone is better than me at something and is capable of teaching me something. If I’m close-minded about that there’s a lifetime of learning I’m closing myself off from.

The hardest time to not be critical of others is when others are critical of you. The natural (for most people anyway) is to be defensive and be critical right back, putting up a wall to reinforce our self-concept. Stop and consider this: as a person with freewill, couldn’t you just as easily choose not to be upset & react in a positive fashion? I like to make a game out of it. When someone criticizes me I try to “kill em’ with kindness”. More often than not it short-circuits their programming and most don’t know how to react. Nothing disarms like humor and genuine humility. This won’t work every time, but man does it beat getting into a pissing match. Believe me, it’s hard to get mad at someone who’s smiling at you and refuses to accept your bile. At the very least you come out the better person and, like in judo, you’ve taken they negative energy they gave you and re-directed it.